Draining my energy

So I dolled myself up for this Chinese New Year event.


I'm really busy because of the upcoming exams and trying to meet the projectS deadline. I SWEAR it's draining me out seriously.
Why the fuck did they put ALL the HEAVY projects due the week before exam. How in the WORLD would we be able to find time and rest well to study for the exams. I seriously cant take it.
Let the rest of the pic do the talking.

This is my 1/5 of my paternal cousin. He's really really cheeky and naughty but a cutiepie.

When you first met him every after a long period, he there being so shy, but in the noon or smth, omg he's a wild child. lol He bites but srsly, he's very cute hahaha

Day 2's outfit. The day I'm so suey. lol & I know I look (ugly [cant find any right word]) here.

Day 3

ciao.

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My "Average" Perspective

I hate the word "Average". Even the word sounds average.
Firstly, it's annoying, it doesn't get me anywhere. It leaves me the question of "so am I good or not?"
And because.. I'm really a negative person, I definitely stoop myself down and "round down" to in the "no good" part. Or maybe I'm just too much of a perfectionist.
Average is the stage of not bad, not good. Could be worse but it definitely could be better.
I have to keep beating my own high score and other people's as well. Be it in gym, grades I get. I compare too much.
Using the word average makes me feel that I could be better. I'm actually not good enough. Either you tell me I suck at it or just am really good at it. Even above average can sound so much better.

Terms of looks is so sensitive and getting the word "average" is just.. like.. ok nvm.
I get so sensitive when people compare me with the people that I will be so affected about. Yet, I still receive such feedbacks from them.

But then again, I need to stop this. I really do. Its killing me and hurting people I love.

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