I(finally) decided to stop procrastinating and put up a few selected photos taken over the cny.
Hope you all got lots of angpao ya!!!!!
Headed to Mum's side of relatives.
Hope you all got lots of angpao ya!!!!!
Headed to Mum's side of relatives.
Love the food there. These prawns are the most delicious dishes ever. Every year, no fail there will be prawns! ^^ In fact its cousins competition time! Its expensive since its ordered from a restaurant but we got it discount or something since my uncle is the chef there. Teehee :B
Oh then we gambled and played a little of mahjong. My first round and i won 五龙. What a nice dragon year! haha! Headed to dad's side after wards.
Oh then we gambled and played a little of mahjong. My first round and i won 五龙. What a nice dragon year! haha! Headed to dad's side after wards.
This is my cutie cousin. Isnt he cute!?!??! He's the only whose in my dad's side who would take pictures with us!
Look how happy he is!!! HAHAHA. Kids are so cutez.
My beautiful mother.
Sister and I. Relatives were all saying we are wearing like in Roman times. HAHA. Well i think my sis look more like one cause i tied for her waterfall braids at the back while my boots destroyed the whole roman look. We tried really hard to be very polite and feminine that day. Obviously my sister did better than me. I will work harder okay! LOL.
I seriously wanna tie like this to school and not being judge -.-
Second day! went to other relatives house to get more angpao and eat more awesome food.
Flora for the day. Last minute decisions.
my brother's grumpy face with cutie behind!!
Ok hope you all enjoyed your CNY!
I want to visit more house! I wanna play mahjong!! Tsk. Ok, ending my post with my cousin. He got swag yo! haha!
Am i really at fault? Ok im a fucked up. Ya that's me, im a bitch. Ugly. Whatever.
Nobody understands. You guys not at fault. I am. My fault. I should give in. I should accept fact etc. You guys wont understand. So stop calling me to trust you guys.
You know what. All these, i have to handle my own. Ya imma fucked up.
I was just trying to protect myself. No excuses. Not escaping reality, nothing. I have accepted long ago. I just needed time and space to breathe.
I am seriously highly insecure, of everything. You know what? Pretty girls gets all the advantages. Books & quotes told us that what matters is yourself, and inner beauty. -.-No. It dont.
You guys won't put yourselves in our/my shoes. You guys tink as a whole, not individually -.-
I didnt bother to explain anymore either. Because you know in the end whose the fucked up one and at fault? Me.
I deserve to be let people and life fuck me up whereby i give in all the time. whereby i should answer the fucking call.
Whereby when im ready to be friend, that bitch is suppose to hate me. Then when i finally hate, that bitch wanna be friend with me and im SUPPOSED to be friend. WHAT!? YOU THINK IM A DOLL?! YOU THINK IT WAS EASY FOR ME TO HATE YOU!? WHY MUST YOU FUCK ME UP WITH YOUR INDECISIVENESS. -.- NOW BECOME IM THE ONE WHO CANT ACCEPT REALITY!?
omg, if you are me, you are being hurt like a million times and then give in EVERY.SINGLE.TIME then that person push you all the way down. When you finally get back up, that person push you again. and when you give up and dont care about that person, you are suppose to forgive that person. what the shit. i dont want to take the risk ok -.-
Its not that i cannot face it, its when every single time you look at this person, all the shit comes back, you felt ashamed. Ashamed of giving it all and everything but all comes down to nothing. Everything you built up, the moving on, forgetting, is gone to waste.
You know what? Best friends dont prevent you from moving on -.- Best friends RESPECTS your decision. Best friends understand you. Apparently, this is not the case for now. I'm a fucked up. Every decision I made is also wrong.
Have you ever look in the mirror and felt disgusted? Have you ever replay death scenes? Have you ever started DRAWING death scenes? Have you ever look at death pictures and just love it? You feel fat when everyone said you arent? You feel ugly in every single way.
Yea, people would think im crazy.
I started building walls around myself. I can be in a sea of people yet felt alone.
You know how i wish i can fucking get out of high school now and go to a new school, new life, new strangers? Whereby they dont know my past? And I can just remove everybody in my life now?
I can count many so called i considered as friends but when i really said someone to rely on, i only counted one which is miss lee. But is that friend? Yea she's just a teacher whom i met. If it wasnt her, i guess i would really give up by now.
You know how fucked up is it whereby you reached home from school, you have to quarrel with your sibling? No, not those minor quarrel, its the ones that throw dictionaries to your head, taking chopper etc? why? because of those motherfucking hurtful words. "YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS, NO WONDER "HE" LEAVES YOU. YOU ARE UGLY HAHAHAHA" and then all the memories flash back. You compared your past and now, and look just how pathetic can you get. After the fight, you ran into the room and scream and cry. How did things end up this way? And then there's this bitch who is so paranoid that would insult your looks and everything. Yah her -.- I wasnt even talking anything bad about her -.- Confirm go tell her boyfriend then whose fault again? ME.
Lol, actually when "you" talk behind my back when i treated you as a good friend, i forgave you soon after but you didnt stop. God wasted the looks on you man. -.- You know how is it to give up your recess because you've got no friends? you just didnt wanna get judged? The ones whom you've been eating with, wont bother to ask you if you're going recess or not and just go by their own? NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU, SIEWHUI . NOBODY. You see all your friends with beautiful pictures of their siblings and themselves, filled with friends and love. You? you got nothing. All was gone. Even if you have, they cant be by your side. In school, you're just alone. You dont feel normal. And laughing as hard as you can is actually 10x the screaming and crying you wanna do inside? Love? hah love. Love is shit. SIEWHUI, Your life is pathetic. HAHAHAHHAHA. YOUR FRIENDS ARE ONLY THOSE IN YOUR HEAD. YOUR FRIENDS ARE RAZOR BLADES. UNDERSTAND!? YOU CAN ONLY CRY ALONE. NOBODY CAN SEE YOU CRY. BECAUSE IF YOU CRY MEANS YOU FUCK UP. YOU ARE UGLY. YOUR NOSE IS LIKE SQUIDWARD. YOUR BODY IS DISGUSTING. YOUR FACE IS LIKE SHIT. UGLY. HA-HA-HA.
