It's only the first week of school in a whole new environment and everything.
Trust me, I feel like CRAP every single day I reached home.
Everyday i wake up from my bed with full of rants and more work piling waiting for me to understand.
I really wonder, what if I appealed, I did regret cause I guess my whole life the only interest I have and don't mind spending hours on it is just.. Draw draw and draw some shit stuff although my drawing might not be nice. I'm more on the NAFA kind of arts or some cute art that gets me no where, but too bad, no portfolio for me boohoo. And my art don't really get me anywhere.
I'm thinking what if I go visual communications and media design but all these is too late to think or regret and you guys call me just focus on the present but I LIKE DOING HISTORY LA K LOL. I LIKE THINK AND THINK THOSE PAST AND "WHAT IF" LOL. CAN U JUST PARDON ME AND LET ME WHINE ON MY BLOG.
EVERYDAY IM LIKE OMG FUCK THIS SHIT YO YO I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING A MANAGER WORKING DURING WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS WHILE EVERYONE IS ENJOYING .
and i feel really really reaaaaaaaaally sad whenever someone post on insta or anything about how their lessons on drawing in visual com or media and communications. Im dying so badly in getting there.
awkward hand. awkward face. awkward me. lol
I get to design thou, guess what, DESIGN STAGE LOR. lol. Design stage for events and my project for the next 8 weeks is the worst theme i got. We were so unlucky we got HSBC women's champion. Like.. WTF? Why didnt i had better luck to get the other groups theme like sp graduation day or sg arts festival or f1 racing :(I envy people doing what they love now. This is not the life I want..........Everyday there's judging going on. I can't clique well with people. I just can't. Ok bear with me for this post. I need to burst out my inner soul lol. I just can't take the fact that everyday i reached home for the past week i have the bloody urge to cry, sometimes i let it out, sometimes i don't.I didn't fight for what I want or should I say I didn't dare, IM INDECISIVE, so i shouldnt cry for what I lost cause i deserve it and blame on me, I have no talent in anything that can lead me to survive in sg. hahaha. well done siewhui. anyway,
This is hilary. She comes from JB everyday. SIAO! LOL. But she's a lovely friend and is sucha pretty girl. Pardon again, i was really cui after all the lessons and chionging on project.
Yongxin, she's so so so small and also a very lovely friend. Pardon my ugly face.
ya, i was this bored during lecture.
i dont even have both lol
I get to design thou, guess what, DESIGN STAGE LOR. lol. Design stage for events and my project for the next 8 weeks is the worst theme i got. We were so unlucky we got HSBC women's champion. Like.. WTF? Why didnt i had better luck to get the other groups theme like sp graduation day or sg arts festival or f1 racing :(I envy people doing what they love now. This is not the life I want..........Everyday there's judging going on. I can't clique well with people. I just can't. Ok bear with me for this post. I need to burst out my inner soul lol. I just can't take the fact that everyday i reached home for the past week i have the bloody urge to cry, sometimes i let it out, sometimes i don't.I didn't fight for what I want or should I say I didn't dare, IM INDECISIVE, so i shouldnt cry for what I lost cause i deserve it and blame on me, I have no talent in anything that can lead me to survive in sg. hahaha. well done siewhui. anyway,
Vanessa, we were so bored so we took photos during lecture. SERIOUSLY DAMN BORED. I STARTED CAMWHORING LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS. Doing unglam faces yet lecturer didnt seem to notice or cant be bothered hahaha. He spent 1h telling me the overview of the module and his stories.... I still learnt stuff thou cause i listened to some key points?
I miss my friends........ although i complained a lot with the life i had in sec sch, i still miss it. Ok shall i just say i miss primary school life then. I just miss having someone to clique to regardless of genders and i will burst out everything, now... i have to extra careful with everything i say.
Ok just give me time to adapt everything.
I miss my friends, yongyi, yixuan, bat etc, i miss my clique, i miss my lover although i still see him sometimes but i miss him because i know weeks later, we aren't gonna meet much. I miss everyone I clique with.
Everything is so hard to say now, I don't know and still hoping a better day everyday. Its so scary that my class seemed to be so darn competitive and me lagging so fucking behind. Fuck i hate why I'm such a slow learner. Sorry but its just impossible for me to outwin those people who naturally smart or wtv. Talent over hardworking. It's true and no one can convince me but i will still TRY to do my best although I'm at best at giving up. Sigh pie.
i hate how i keep everything from you, bottling up my sadness and i guess im super no good at faking it but i would continue practicing to keep my emotions. lol. Because of this you always get so annoyed by how I'm not telling. I'm so sorry if im so stubborn, I'm sorry for being so not good enough at times, and i just hope you would still stay but if one day it didnt, i'd understand. It's barely the forth month and so many problems... Unlike... Forget it. I'm so sorry I'm being such a fuck up. I always am
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