Are we out of the woods yet?

No one really understands anyway,
and feeling super embarrassed or ashamed of myself with the thought of it.

They are not insensitive but I am the one getting too sensitive and mother chucking selfish.
I understand where they are coming from and that I have no one to blame but myself.
Due to my nature and yes I am a girl with a lot of ego in me, this thing is still really huge blow and im still stuck in a hole trying to climb myself out of it to see the light and finding positive things to look at why things happened the way it happened.
I tell myself maybe this gives me more time to pursue on what I really want to but nope because I still need to think of other routes and those other routes are dead end to me actually.
Thus, my current plan can only succeed. Besides, its a very risky plan and that is what makes it worse.
Can someone please tell me what is Plan B and what should I do or how am I going to go forward after that? But nope, because I can only rely myself although I'm still fucking lost.

Every time people mention about May, I just want to roll my eyes and puke and get the fuck away.
Nah jk, I am just hurt lol.

Now what I am afraid most is February and the upcoming few months ahead.

"Are we out of the woods.
I need to know when will I realise the monsters are actually just trees, and I am finally in the clear"

Just tell me when.