I deserve to be punished

So yesterday brought our quarreling to a whole new level.
We fought till the police, scdf, ambulance came.
I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

Why does things have to turn out this way everytime. Sorry I just don't think I should give in t you will be spoilt.
Although I seriously don't even feel it's my fault but being the eldest end up it seems as if it is.
I hate being the eldest. I really really hate it.
I hate myself even more.
They say hate is a strong word and friends were asking each other who they hate. They didn't even have one because they just don't like.
But me, well maybe I don't really have a few or so but there's definitely one in my list and that is me.
I'm the worst person ever
Most horrible person ever
I deserved to be punished

I'm the worst sister ever.
I just want to leave.
Cause like you all said, I'm just an evil witch and like how my dad says, I'm a very ugly cunning and sly person.

I couldn't agree more, especially now.