My "Average" Perspective

I hate the word "Average". Even the word sounds average.
Firstly, it's annoying, it doesn't get me anywhere. It leaves me the question of "so am I good or not?"
And because.. I'm really a negative person, I definitely stoop myself down and "round down" to in the "no good" part. Or maybe I'm just too much of a perfectionist.
Average is the stage of not bad, not good. Could be worse but it definitely could be better.
I have to keep beating my own high score and other people's as well. Be it in gym, grades I get. I compare too much.
Using the word average makes me feel that I could be better. I'm actually not good enough. Either you tell me I suck at it or just am really good at it. Even above average can sound so much better.

Terms of looks is so sensitive and getting the word "average" is just.. like.. ok nvm.
I get so sensitive when people compare me with the people that I will be so affected about. Yet, I still receive such feedbacks from them.

But then again, I need to stop this. I really do. Its killing me and hurting people I love.