Never let anyone close enough to hurt you

This week is hectic as hell. TONS of project rushing us to complete before CNY and Im awaiting so many sleepless night. Eyebags gonna worsen for CNY -_- Also, been shopping for CNY clothes consecutively 3 weeks and I FINALLY settled a few of it.
I can't wait to eat pineapple tarts and which leads to... gaining weightzzz. I really tell myself to EAT CLEAN, but I fail. TERRIBLY.

So a few people say me and Bernard look really alike and we look like "SIBLINGS". OMG NOOO! LOL that's one of the "ouch" comments but then again.. Yea maybe I agree. My boyfriend seriously looks like a girl and has girl's features, esp his eyes with his long eyelashes. There's once I took selfie with him and oh great lord, if I'm a stranger I might think he's a butch. LOL. I even went to line stickers to modify him with long hair and make up. Chio max.

Ignore my tired face

So I manage to get out a little of my comfort zone and talk with other girls in my class. As in, I did talk but I am always so quiet and awkward that the conversation ends in minutes. Really had fun with them thou.

I didn't exactly change clique and clique is seriously a strong word to use. Tbh, I don't exactly have a clique in poly but I have a group of really good friends and I think's that's really good enough for me. Clique is just a really big term to use and in my life currently, my favorite comfortable clique would always be "scholars".
Ok, if clique meant a group of friends I associate and in poly yes, KFC are my clique in poly because they are basically the people I hang out with in school. And I do enjoy their presence, but its just me, I haven't open up yet and I'm not ready to. It takes time, for me. A hell lot of time. I'm just fucking insecure.
And all I'm good at is pushing people away.
Ugh, give me a break. Can I just live my poly life in peace cause this keyboard warrior is just.. just.. BULL FUCKING SHIT.