Never let anyone close enough to hurt you

This week is hectic as hell. TONS of project rushing us to complete before CNY and Im awaiting so many sleepless night. Eyebags gonna worsen for CNY -_- Also, been shopping for CNY clothes consecutively 3 weeks and I FINALLY settled a few of it.
I can't wait to eat pineapple tarts and which leads to... gaining weightzzz. I really tell myself to EAT CLEAN, but I fail. TERRIBLY.

So a few people say me and Bernard look really alike and we look like "SIBLINGS". OMG NOOO! LOL that's one of the "ouch" comments but then again.. Yea maybe I agree. My boyfriend seriously looks like a girl and has girl's features, esp his eyes with his long eyelashes. There's once I took selfie with him and oh great lord, if I'm a stranger I might think he's a butch. LOL. I even went to line stickers to modify him with long hair and make up. Chio max.

Ignore my tired face

So I manage to get out a little of my comfort zone and talk with other girls in my class. As in, I did talk but I am always so quiet and awkward that the conversation ends in minutes. Really had fun with them thou.

I didn't exactly change clique and clique is seriously a strong word to use. Tbh, I don't exactly have a clique in poly but I have a group of really good friends and I think's that's really good enough for me. Clique is just a really big term to use and in my life currently, my favorite comfortable clique would always be "scholars".
Ok, if clique meant a group of friends I associate and in poly yes, KFC are my clique in poly because they are basically the people I hang out with in school. And I do enjoy their presence, but its just me, I haven't open up yet and I'm not ready to. It takes time, for me. A hell lot of time. I'm just fucking insecure.
And all I'm good at is pushing people away.
Ugh, give me a break. Can I just live my poly life in peace cause this keyboard warrior is just.. just.. BULL FUCKING SHIT.

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2014

Took me damn lot of courage to actually wear a crop tee. Im freaking insecure and all but since I bought it.. so just make my money useful and with so much reassurance that I looked okay.. out I went with this.

I know it's pretty late but anw, just wanted to say belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

I'm a zeeeeebraa. lol

2013 is definitely better than 2012/2011 altho those are the years that really shape me where I learn a lot of life matters but hey, 2013 too since... I came to a whole new school and a whole new society IN there as compared to secondary.
Well of course 2013 is a good year since more than half of my year was actually holidays. School seriously bring the whole mood down through the year lol. What could ever go wrong with holidays anw man lol.

one of the top clique photo since almost all were here except conor who has more impt thing to attend to :) but.. I ACCIDENTALLY BLOCKED JIAYU. T-T

I am glad to say that I still have these bunch of same old friends around me and always able to joke around with the most nonsense crap. I'm really really lucky to have primary friends as best friends and are also the most I hanged out with in my entire life. Like, c'mon, most of the people I know don't even contact their primary friends anymore. I'm also still in good r/s with B and he's still an extreme 101% boyfriend material.

I also met some really nice people in poly and also my cca mates. Altho I don't hang out with them much, at least I have some good memories with SP.

2013 has also many downs because of this problem that stuck with me ever since I entered poly and I'm still trying to cope and deal with it.. and with so many sub problems arising and is also still bothering me, I got to admit that the number of blessings and good things I received outnumbered the bad things.

Considering me as an extreme negative (life) person, I actually said smth good about my life.

Ok! so here are some of the pictures,

Christmas we had bbq at Bernard's house and have secret santa. My santa is actually Chinsiang hahah and too bad he doesnt know me well enough that he bought me clothes that is out of my style and it will suit much better on his gf instead. But thoughts that count and that he actually knows his gf very well.

 damn poor quality due to lighting and front cam

 lol..

 chinsiang..... hahahaha

lol.. im weird

31st Dec we had steamboat at Bugis and then countdown at Jocelin's house. The atmosphere wasn't really high esp me being such an effed up person wasnt rlly high too. I was pretty much shag after a day out.

The problem with me is that I can never look good in photos or in rl whenever night falls if half of my day spent outside. My eyebags become rllllly huge as if I didnt sleep for days. lol.

spot conor

now I accidentally blocked jiayi... T-T

 One who tolerate me the most

 My precious irreplaceable girls

Thank you to those people who make me happy when my skies are grey. It's not only the clique of course but everyone who I actually really care and want them to continue to stay in my life for the rest of the years.
Hoping 2014 will not be so bad either and I will cont work on my new year resolutions. I know it's very late already but lol, the year is still the starting considering it is still Jan.
But the confirm one is.. try get the body I want............
ciao

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One year

So, Bernard and I celebrated our first anniversary together on 23 dec. We didn't actually celebrate it because we are just poor people lol. We just went out to shop for Christmas gifts at that time and actually settled dinner which his mum had cooked at his house since we didn't want to spend money outside anymore.We also didn't take any photos because I was too shag to take one lol. How..... unromantic but nvm........ being together is what counts. It has been a good one year and more with him as a boyfriend. He honestly just change 359 degree of how he acted as a friend to me and as a boyfriend. He didn't rlly care about me even when we were best friends LOL. He practically bullied me and just so damn annoying that I couldn't stand in class. But ever since we dated, it's my chance for a revenge... haha jk. Ya but I'm more of the bully but he's still the same old annoying lame guy towards the clique and sometimes, me. But its still ok. I can still.. take it since he also compromise with my nonsense and really EXTREME ridiculous behaviour (most) of the time.

However we made cards for each other which is what I loved most hehehe. It was the first layout with all the materials that I have and feel so damn happy when I completed it.
The thing was able to slide left and right to open up a "card". ^ ^ Thanks to my cousin's great creative ideas lol

I thought he would give me a really nice card with coloured paper but unexpectedly he bought paper from paper market and made it like a calender. Altho photos weren't pasted yet and his abit cmi handwriting... it was really pretty. Plus the holes and all were cut by himself one by one and he went to find his poa file(?) and cut to bundle the whole papers up. LOL he could have just gone to mama shop or bookshop to do it but his house area didn't have one hahaha.

After few days later we decided to eat at "The Tea Party" since I have craving for some good cafe and just to recover the 23 la lol.

All in all, I'm really bless to have him as a boyfriend. and I can't wait to celebrate more anniversaries.

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