I'm screwed

It's really sad that I am a slow learner. I take a very very long time to understand and master a topic or anything. Because it's so long that I occupy so much time in focusing and understand this topic, I cannot go on the next, and including the procrastination time etc , I always fail.

I've lost all motivation ever since O's. I really can't imagine the life back thn of how I struggle with every single thing, and crying countless nights to sleep of how screwed I'm gonna be for exam and now it's repeating. In the end my results were shit and I hate myself so much because I was so indecisive and always never pursue what I wanted due to society reasons that I ended up regretting what I take.

I was given art and because people told me art can do nothing and alot of time is required I appealed to e3 just cause they say the study environment will be better and have future or whatever shit. I got in but I was never happy and thinking what if I'm taking art.

I now had the chance to go to a art or design stream, I still didn't even try to put as one of my choices or appeal cause of how people told me its very hard to ace there.

Siewhui you really deserve a slap in your face.