My outsides are cool but my insides are blue

Having sore throat with a little swollen eyes and throbbing headache and also feeling giddy and sleepy, but the problem is I already slept the whole day.
Slept till 1pm, lied in bed at 3 and fell asleep again from 4 to 7.30pm. Yet I still want to sleep lol but I don't want my day to end like this so I shall just blog.//

Got back my results and.. I don't know how I should feel about it. Im satisfied because it's above my expectations but I'm not feeling too good about it because I can't really go to local uni if I maintain with this results. But at least... thank god, there's no C's at all.

What happened during the last few days/weeks...

Went back to ZSS during teacher's day. Met many old friends and still most importantly, meeting Miss Lee, for she is always the best teacher I ever met. Not only is she a teacher, she tried to be my friend and I will always be grateful.

This cute innocent pretty girl. Sexy cutie, matching only with a basic tee and high waist, she could make many set their eyes on her. HAHAH ok la, Chinese lessons is always always always awesome with her and hui jun around.
Ikea after that. I tried my best to take good food pictures with my photography skills but it always suck la lol.

Met my part time boyfriends, but I didnt caught the movie yet... will try to catch it soon.

Went to WWW since there's free tickets and all and had our dinner at Just Acia.

cupcakes for you? 

DORA KEIKI. Thanks to b's family for the intro and all.

 Didnt know it was actually doraemon favourite snack (the red bean one) HAHAHA.

Love the cheese flavor the best, and surprisingly, my mum loves it too. Favorite family snack.

Happy three friends. My flower boy very handsome esp without specs.
 Must be a privileged to take picture with him. Chey.
Haha he hates people calling him flower-boy. But I just love to annoy. Owell, name wasn't called for nothing.

Worked with my very first old best friend for only 1 day because I'm just a replacement. Best slackest boring job ever. Great day with him.

 Met eleanor and ate udders and alazhar with her. Miss and love her so much, hehe.

IM SO IN LOVE WITH SCRAPBOOKING NOW. like really.
All my money now shall really stop for shopping and food and buy all those materials from mapletreehouse/paper market.
Will post pictures if I complete my new card techniques and all! hehehe.
So stoked for the year-end holiday with family for Taiwan!

Btw....... I really....... wanna....... eat.........pancakes.......
and hot dog buns from ikea's......... its on my craving list long before the holidays.

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How long

I don't know how long I lied here. 

How long my mind went blank.

How long it takes for that tear to flow out from my eyes.

How long it takes for my mind to start thinking all the insecurities and problems.

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Having a great company

Finally I have time to update.

Having the holidays now and exams are really a burden. Spotted a lot of mistakes and most of it I should just take a gun and shoot myself at it. I can actually lost a 12 marks qn.

I have millions of activities in my mind which concerns... cash... and.. the right company.. which... I don't really really have a right one except B and scholars but they have their own plans too.

a little pathetic huh.. haha.

But I'm okay, I mean I have time for PLL!!!! Caught up all the episodes I've missed.

HOW CAN ANYONE NOT LIKE PLL. OMG EVERY EPISODE MAKES ME FEEL SO CREEP OUT AND CURIOUS AND JUST GO ON TO THE NEXT EPISODE.

I can also catch up with running man. Heh heh.

Oh I played with photoshop and illustrator. Oh my god and I actually did the header. LOL. Photoshop is fun its just... a big burden during exams and time consuming for a noob person like me.

You have no idea how accomplished I felt. I also did 2 of the logos using photoshop!! Cause I couldnt find any similar icons with same shape and size -_-

Had ice cream at Udders and my favorite crispy toufu!!! At upper bukit timah. Its awesome!!!

MORE CRAVINGS AND FAVORITE FOOD COMING AND TO SATISFY ME.

Don't be deceived. My arms are much fatter, its the hair that is covering.

Celebrated my bbg 17 bday.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR EVERYONE'S 18th BDAY.

LOL. Look at his faces. ALL SO GIRLY ESP THE TOP LEFT.

GIVING THAT BIMBO FACE WHICH I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SUCCEED IN DOING.

 Im here like... sian and he has this always happy face every time.

 so korean. And he initiate all the poses. And I feel awkz in doing it, its so not my style. LOL

Happy, Free, Confused, Lonely at the same time, just don't know if it's in the best way yet.. 

Hating who I am and how I'm treating this matter and how I give that sickening attitude. Those words and how I express it, it wasnt intentionally, it's just..... (idk, fml)
I also realised why, I didn't like to rely my happiness onto someone and definitely VERY affected when people say my life revolves around a few people. (Which is true now)
Because I experienced that and its really scary. When suddenly one day he's not around anymore and all was busy, I felt lost. I have to go through many things on my own, which sucks.
WHAT IF one day things went wrong, people just didn't keep in touch and everyone goes separate ways, lover goes army or so, I will really be alone and I don't have a plan B at all.
So, I'm trying to find many alternatives now because past is repeating but I'm just stuck here. I cannot expect myself to stick with these few people forever and ever. I need new people.
What I mean is, yes, they are still gonna be my bff, sis, bros but I have to have more friends.
Tbh, I don't have many friends or was never a social butterfly in sec school.
I only stick to the guys in my class and 3 to 5 girls (yes, 3 to 5 GIRLS which I never really hang out with them anymore because we all have our own closer friends) but when im out of school i go back to the scholars. My life really only revolves around them. Even till now.
Everyone now has like "oh I have pri sch clique, sec sch clique, poly clique, cca clique" which they will REALLY hang out with them and all.
Me? erm, I have one and only scholars which I feel comfortable with them. & when they are busy I'm just sitting here in my bed the whole day.
But don't worry, I'm still fine. I'm okay. The only sad part is when I see everyone having a great company while I'm just.. here, feeling extremely bored in this stupid town
I'm in the stage of less than happy but not that sad. I'm still contented the way it is. It just makes me ponder about how things going on in my life right now and if I should make any changes....
I question myself for the difference in me and others.. why is things the way it is and I only come out with one factor... maybe I'm really unlikable or there's smth wrong with me. THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE

ok bye. xx

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Priority

End of exams for sem 1 is around the corner, I need to start studying and understand all the topics that i have slept away. Trust me, there isn't one lecture that I listen 100%. I did, in fact, tell myself, ok, must start listening, but I always end up finding it too boring that I start going to surf web or fell asleep.

So, firstly I wanna thank these wonderful 4 girls in my life and now adding Jiayu, its flower 5. harhar.
They know I was really sad and all, and they brought macarons and each of them wrote a long letter for me. I was really touched although I didnt tear and all cause I just don't express emotions properly, but trust me, my heart was crying.

Secondly, my priorities in my life. Flower girls, the clique and of course, B.

True friends are hard to find, and I'm glad I found them.

These are the friends who genuinely care and not because they are curious. And anytime most of them whom without curfew, will fly down to my doorstep or smth just to concern about me.

These are the friends, that I know, I can always count on. Even if the world turn its back on me, they will be there to give me the best advice so that things could be right. Including B and flower girls, they never walk out on me.

Ignore my face. I know its ugly and i don't look myself. Focus on others instead.

And then this guy over here... everything that i need to say i already said.
And.. even if there comes a day where things couldn't work out, its the experience that we learned. I believed that we will end things maturely but for now.. lets just say im really glad i have u in my life and I enjoy your company. And we shall always support each other just like how best friends do. Let's try to make the relationships last forever (altho forever is a long time ) and a little bit more after that. Just, once again, thank you for guiding me in life, supporting me every time, trying your best to cheer me up and ignore bullshits in life.

And also, these are the wonderful friends I'm hanging out with in poly who really knows how to have fun and they are called KFC.

And i think last last friday idk which friday, we went zouk for some event that my course allowed to. It was the maybelinesg thing. (adv of integrated events) It was fun and was shocking to won maybeline merchandises when i actually didn't deserve it.

And yes, I know my arms. i know its not proportionate to my body and its quite fat. stop, i know. im working on it

abrupt ending after 2 selfies lol, bye

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