I'm very skeptical about the term "friendship"

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Accepting the love I think I deserve

I learnt to accept things more now and I don't know if it's the best solution but I guess I should just accept and take it all in.
There's no use crying or brooding over those matters.
I accept how people are gonna treat or think of me because at the end of the day, I have to stay true to myself and continuing trying to be the best I can be and not try to conform myself and be someone who I am not.

But I gotta admit, there are times I'm very sick and tired of bullshit and tears came and I want to give up but I can't. I have to continue struggling and fighting to get through it.

I know I'm not capable enough and it sucks. I felt like a total loser most of the times and being rejected so many times because I just wasn't good enough.
I realised how incapable I really am, I thought I was good at this thing but I wasn't at all.
It sucks to realize you are actually still in the bottom of the pit when you thought you were high enough.
It really sucks to feel useless and not competent at all. I don't even know how to work on it.

I'm trying hard to step out of my comfort zone but I don't even feel myself if I do that. I really have to learn some things. I don't know how to contribute or work well or even try to be capable to be recognized or smth. 

and then I come across this ..

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Be nice

I couldn't express how I felt and how much thoughts went through my mind after I read these beautiful words and sentences in this picture. 

But all that I learnt and thoughts that came in my mind was that doesn't mean someone treat you badly or is being mean to you, you have to do the same to them. You don't have to devalue your morals to do it. "Be nice. It is a wonderful legacy to leave behind"

They probably have their own problems to cause them being this way and the least I wanna do is to add in to their problems. 

and with the situation now, I guess I could easily try to do my gen ed proj because it is totally relating what im having and feeling right now
"You, with your switching sides and your wildfire lies and your humiliation.
You, have pointed out my flaws again, as if I don't already see them.
I walk with my head down, trying to block you out cause I'll never impress you, I just wanna feel okay again. I bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold, but the cycle ends right now, cause you can't lead me down that road."

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Little things

They say it's the little things that make one happy, but its also the little things that accumulated to make one sad.

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